Yullen Soundtrack
by Sora Ryuuzaki
Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track5: I Hate You by 3 Days Grace. Track 6: Soul Meets Body by DCFC. The two knew that this was where his empty soul met his empty body, and they became one and complete.
1. Track 1: Savin' Me by Nickelback

Yullen Soundtrack

Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track one: Savin' Me by Nickelback. Allen reflects on how things don't work out.

Warnings: Slightly OOC on Allen's part; sorry. Emo-ish (or one could say "facing reality") Allen.

Well, uhh. I like writing songfics. The one you see below is a songfic that I haven't thrown in the trash yet :D Yay. But, uhh, this was a result of listening to Nickelback and Daughtry for hours on end and never getting tired of them BD I would recommend listening to the song while you read. It might make a difference.

Enjoy :D

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**I don't own D. Gray-man or any of the songs that I use in this series of songfics.**

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_Track 1 – Savin' Me by Nickelback_

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_Prison gates won't open up for me_

Damn. Damn it all.

I am an Exorcist; true, but yet false.

I am a Noah, but I cannot be banished to Hell. But why ever not?

_On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you…_

_He's_ always there, but he never notices. He knows I see him, but yet he doesn't spare a glance at those who grovel for passage to Hell. He only delivers them; he cannot interact with them, much less fall for them.

_Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you…_

The people in headquarters are kind enough, but they suffocate me. They oppress me; they expect too much of me. What am I to do if I cannot fulfill their expectations? Like iron bars, they restrict me; prevent me from being free.

But yet, at the same time, all I need is for _him_ to be there.

_Come, please; I'm callin'…  
And, oh, I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'…  
_

I scream into my pillow; the soft material dampens the shriek. The fact that he cannot be mine; can never be mine is always on my mind.

Because I'm a saint, they call. I am God's favored child, and therefore cannot go against His teachings. I cannot love a man.

And yet, I have fallen irrevocably for him.

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing._

He's always the last one to stand; the last one to admit defeat. Hmm. I guess you could call him stubborn, but… Heh. I can't talk; I'm hardly the last one on the battlefield who is willingly there. I'm only there for the sake of those around me; to fulfill the expectations that have been set before me.

_And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be.  
_

I want him to show me. How to be strong; how to carve my will into iron, enough to be able to say "no" and exceed the expectations—not just meet them.

Show me, and I'll be more than anything he's ever seen.

_Say it for me,  
Say it to me,  
And I'll leave this life behind me.  
Say it if it's worth saving me…_

But I doubt that he'll show me; I doubt that he'll even think of saying the words that I so desperately want him to say, even if they'll save me. No; he's not that kind of person, nor will he think to save me.

After all, he hates me.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you…  
_

But I know it's impossible for me to go to heaven. I… am in love with a man, and, being a male myself, that is against His teachings. Even if I am God's Apostle, that cannot atone for the sins I have made.

And yet… I cannot retrieve myself from his grasp.

So where the hell am I going to go?

_These city walls ain't got no love for me;  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And, oh, I scream for you…_

And even now, I can see the trust fading from the eyes of those who once did; the love from the headquarters are quickly disappearing. But I will not fail them; I promised. Should the Fourteenth overcome me, I will personally stop him…

… Even if it costs me my life.

_Come, please, I'm callin'…  
And all I need from you  
Hurry; I'm fallin', I'm fallin'…  
_

But I know he won't care. He does not give a damn about what I do. If I die, he won't care. If I go to heaven, he won't care. Even if I go to hell, I'm sure that he won't even notice my disappearance.

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing.  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be.  
_

Oh, but God, show me what it was like to not be under his spell; to not be a sinner the way I have been. Show me that I can still atone. Give me another chance, and I'll show you that I can hold onto to my purist ways.

_Say it for me,  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me.  
Say it if it's worth saving me…  
_

… I guess I'm a hypocrite. I say I can hold onto my purist ways, but I doubt that I will be able to. If he says those words—and again, I thoroughly doubt that he will—I'll die happy, sinner or not.

_Hurry; I'm fallin'…  
_

But… I can't help but hold onto that small chance that he will. And if he does… Oh, God, please let it be soon.

_All I need is you…  
Come please I'm callin'._

_And, oh, I scream for you…  
Hurry; I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'…  
_

If I can have just him… I think I'd trade my Innocence for him; that is the extent to which I have fallen for him…

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing.  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be…  
_

Please, show me how to be strong again; to be pure again. I want to be able to reach the standards set before me with a clear conscience. I do not want to be weighed down by the fear of going to Hell because I have fallen in love with someone I should not have.

_Say it for me,  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me…_

But that does not stop me from noticing it. The way he glares at me, the way he gives only me—and Lavi, but that's aside from the point—a nickname… I fear I am giving myself false hope. Even still, I can only dream that he'll say it… that he'll deem it worthy of his time to save me.

_Hurry I'm fallin'…_

Hurry, BaKanda. I'm falling.

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So how many of you listened to the song while you read this? … Yeah, I thought so. Not many, huh.

Anyway, my (unprofessional) editor thought that this would be a good poem. I guess I can see why she thought that, but honestly, I wasn't going for a poetic voice. I delved into my inner Allen and pulled out this odd, rhythmic thing. But hey, we all knew that Allen was pretty girly; no surprise there, right? xD

… I feel awkward now.

Okay, well… Update with the aforementioned editor. She's starting a new story that I would definitely read. (Actually, I have to, but that's beside the point.) I was reading what she had of her prologue and I was ready to tear up. Yeah. You heard me. On the freakin' _prologue._ So be ready. :D Here comes Chainsaw Mafia.

The next track is a personal favorite of mine; Crashed, by Daughtry. Savin' Me and Crashed are the two reasons why I started this songfic series. As a result, they get first dibs and the most attention :D Hope you all enjoyed this one; and enjoy the next one, too.

_Next Track – Crashed by Daughtry_


	2. Track 2: Crashed by Daughtry

Yullen Soundtrack

Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track 2 - Crashed, by Daughtry.

Warnings: Some of the most blatant cussing I've ever done in my life; NO FLUFF :O Yullen fluff is cute, but sadly, it's not possible in their world, if you think about it. And Kanda himself is a warning.

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_Track 2 - Crashed by Daughtry_

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_Well, I was moving at the speed of sound_

_Head spinnin'; couldn't find my way around and_

_Didn't know that I was going down._

_Yeah, yeah…_

I'm not one to regret, but fuck. Why didn't I realize it earlier? The damn kid was always there, always following me. Why the fuck didn't I realize that he'd drag me down earlier?

_Where I've been, well it's all a blur.  
What I was looking for, I'm not sure.  
Too late and didn't see it coming.  
Yeah, yeah._

Every damn place I've been with him, every damn mission, I can't even fucking remember anymore because he's always there. He distracts me. I can't remember the Innocence, or even what the place we stayed in was.

Everything he does distracts me.

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And I went up in flames._

I hadn't fucking expected it because, well, fuck, how the hell was I supposed to know it was going to happen? I crashed into him.

_Could've been the death of me,_

_But then you breathed your breath in me._

Those damn eyes, the pleading voice… I hate it, but it gives me reason to breathe.

_And I crashed into you,_

_Like a runaway train._

_You will consume me,_

_But I can't walk away._

He's a fucking martyr, and he'll consume me, but I can't fucking walk away.

_Somehow I couldn't stop myself._

_I just wanted to know how it felt…_

_Too strong; I couldn't hold on._

_Yeah, yeah._

I never wanted to feel this way, but damn. This time around, curiosity got the better of me, and now I can't hold onto myself. He's taking over, with every touch. From that first kiss, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold on anymore.

_Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense_

_Out of how and why this happened._

I still don't know how it happened; it was all so fast. But that martyr…

_Where we're heading, there's just no knowing._

_Yeah, yeah._

I'm worried. He's damn religious and all that shit, but we're going against His teachings. We sure as hell aren't going to heaven.

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And I went up in flames._

_Could've been the death of me,_

_But then you breathed your breath in me._

_And I crashed into you,_

_Like a runaway train._

_You will consume me,_

_But I can't walk away_

Heh. But when the hell have I ever cared about that religious shit? I don't give a damn about heaven or hell anymore; I sure as hell am not going to heaven because of him. I crashed into him, headfirst, and now I'm in shambles. There isn't anything I can do about it.

_From your face, your eyes_

_Are burning to me._

_You saved me, you gave me_

_Just what I need._

_Oh, just what I need._

The way he looks at me sends shivers across my skin.

I didn't know I fucking needed to feel this way until I did; it's so damn stupid.

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And I went up in flames._

_Could've been the death of me._

_But then you breathed your breath in me._

Che. It's all so damn confusing, the way he makes me feel, but it gives me hope. The hope will be crushed eventually, I know, but it pulls me forward.

_And I crashed into you,_

_Like a runaway train._

_You will consume me,_

_But I can't walk away._

Damn; these feelings are taking over me. I still need to find _him,_ but at least he'll keep me entertained.

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And then I crashed into you,_

_And I crashed into you,_

_Like a runaway train._

Although I say that, I can't guarantee that I won't lose myself in him. I can't guarantee that I won't get caught up in those emotions; get obsessed in protecting something that I have to lose. I can't hold onto him forever, because I have other things to do, and so does he.

_You will consume me,_

_But I can't walk away._

You will consume me, bean sprout, but I can't fucking walk away from you.

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Well, there it is. Track 2: Crashed, by Daughtry.

My editor, Chainsaw Mafia, had an issue with my song choice. She basically spent two minutes yelling at me because the voice "DOES [NOT]... REFLECT A SOUL THAT DARK". xD But apparently, the fic was deep enough to change her view. SHe's still skeptical on the song, though.

Ughh. Physical science is stupid. I had to build a vehicle that travels by itself, so I was going to do a mousetrap car (see YouTube). Unfortunately, I'm horrible at construction, so my car... failed. I was messing with my supplies and managed to build a catapult (go mousetraps and scout knots!). So, uh, yeah. I sent an e-mail to my teacher asking if a projectile was suitable. I'm currently pending a response, and whipped out this baby :D

Anything you liked? Hated? Thought it was godly? (Lol, big ego-booster there....) xD Tell me. :O

_Next Track: Well Done by Passion, a YouTube artist_


	3. Track 3: Well Done by Passion

Yullen Soundtrack

Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track three: Well Done by Passion: He wanted to be with Allen, no matter what.

Warnings: No cussing on Kanda's part! That alone is a warning!; character death (it's the focus of this fic; get over it); a pretty emo Kanda

Oh, gosh. I love this track. It's so sad. I wrote the songfic by itself first, but then realized that it would be better to show his death. I was so depressed as I was writing it, but hey. We're all depressed sometime, right?

And-- yes. This thing has not been edited by Chainsaw Mafia. I repeat: HAS NOT BEEN EDITED xD So please, you guys, be my editor-- what did I do right, what did I do wrong, and how can I have made a part better can definitely be a part of your review.

Enjoy. And for this track, I highly recommend listening to the song as you read it—just don't start playing the song until the flashback is over. I'll leave a note for you guys to tell you when to play it, but oh... Passion's voice is so smooth and sorrowful… It perfectly fits the mood of this fic. xD Enjoy, you guys!

**And I don't own his ****[Passion's] or anyone else's music. Or D. Gray-man. But if I did… -smirks-**

**-slaps self- But I don't. And that's that.**

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_Track 3 – Well Done by Passion_

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_A sudden bolt of lightning crashed outside, startling an Exorcist from his sleep._

_Slowly, with trembling hands, he threaded his fingers through his long, dark hair. Angrily, he fisted them tightly, ignoring the pain through his head. He knew something was wrong; something was terribly wrong. And he knew, instinctively, that it had to do with his lover. Guilt, he reasoned, was part of it. The couple's arguments had been getting more heated; less playful and more forceful. Although they always made up later, earlier that day had been just plain harsh. Kanda's lover had turned his back and left, unshed tears marring his twilight-hidden eyes._

"_Damn it…" Kanda hissed, slamming his other hand into the mattress. Another crash of thunder only made his hands clench tighter. The bean sprout hated thunder; was he okay?_

_Before he knew it, Kanda was out of his bed and his coat was thrown over his shoulder. As if in a daze, he wandered down to his lover's bedroom and threw open the door, expecting to see a mound on the mattress, trembling._

_What he saw was an empty room, and a note._

_As his sapphire eyes quickly scanned the scribblings on the note, they widened. His hands trembled uncontrollably, and suddenly crumpled the page in one hand. The crisp sound of the paper was the only thing he could hear aside from his heart pounding in his chest. Thunder resounded in the Exorcist headquarters again. Unceremoniously shoving it in his pocket, Kanda flew down to the Ark as fast as his feet could carry him._

"_God damn it, bean sprout," he muttered. "Don't do this to me…"_

_When he came through the Ark's entrance into the mystical town within, the Millenium Earl lay to the side, dead and unmoving; but that wasn't what he was interested in. Not anymore, at least. Things had changed; his priorities shifted._

_Something stirred, and his feet carried him to it without his consent. But as he neared, he saw a mane of white hair stained red by blood. A darkened Innocence arm lay by his side, unmoving. Just when Kanda was about to check his pulse, Allen stirred again._

"… _Kanda?" he whispered weakly. The silvery-blue twilight of his eyes were faint now; they were becoming glossy and unclear._

_Kanda pulled his lover up and carried him bridal-style. "We're taking you to the infirmary, now," he murmured. His words were harsh but his tone was soft. Allen's head rested against his shoulder, his arms feebly trying to wrap around his neck._

"_No… won't make it… Fourteenth dead… he helped me live until now…"_

_Had it not been for the dire condition of his lover, Kanda would have asked questions, but now wasn't the time. Allen had lost too much blood; had sustained too many injuries; was overall too weak to be doing any talking. He even said so._

"_It's fine," Allen gasped. "I just want you to know that I… love you, Yuu…"_

_Kanda's eyes widened as he felt the body in his arms slacken._

"_Oy, bean sprout…" He jostled the teen a bit to see if he would respond. "Bean sprout…!" No response. Quickly, Kanda checked his pulse… to find none._

"_ALLEN!"_

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(The author would like to say that if the audience wants to feel the full impact of this songfic, they should pull up the song now on YouTube.)

_[Intro]_

The Dark Order was too depressed to celebrate the Earl's death, for they had lost one of their most beloved Exorcists. Allen Walker was dead. Lenalee and Lavi were the ones who mourned the most openly, for they were their saviour's best friends. They never saw Yuu Kanda, the most stoic of them all, mourn. But he did.

_Sometimes I don't understand  
Why I thought that I had__ all the time in the world  
To go and see you awhile;  
For just a little while…  
_

The funeral hall was empty now. It was midnight, and all the mourners, no matter how depressed, had left, save one.

Kanda's footsteps echoed in the grim hall as he approached the coffin. Peering into the glass, his heart wrenched as the face within seemed peaceful; unreal in its expression. He longed to brush his fingers against the warm, pale skin again.

_Too caught up in my own life,  
I didn't see the pain you hid with a smile…_

But he couldn't. He had all the time to enjoy the bean sprout's personality, but he was too consumed in his own selfish goals to see the worth in Allen before it was too late and the Fourteenth took over. And when he finally did notice, the younger Exorcist would brush off the Fourteenth and claim that it was nothing to worry about.

Kanda knew now that he should have worried for him.

_And now, you're not here with me.  
Should've been, could've been, would've been all right…_

And now, Allen wasn't here anymore. He wasn't standing beside Kanda, like he should be, and nothing would be okay anymore.

_Wish I knew how to turn back the hands of time  
'Cause maybe then I'd be here by your side…_

With one hand fisted tightly, Kanda brushed the front of the glass with the other hand. He wanted to turn back the clock; to go back to a time when the face within wasn't eerily placed and was a natural smile.

To be with his lover.

_Wish that I had done just a little more_

_Wish that I could see you one more time_

And what Kanda done for him? When Allen had done everything—nurse him well, made him feel better—Kanda had done nothing for the kind Exorcist. He regretted it now; regretted that he couldn't have given him the some happiness that Allen had brought him. To see him again would be a blessing; a gift from the heavens.

_But I know that God holds your life_

_Your battle is finally won,_

_And He said, "Well done.  
My faithful servant, well done…"_

He was in God's hands now; the God that Kanda had never been able to believe in, even though he was supposedly God's Apostle. The battles wrought upon the Exorcists was finally over, and surely the damn God was at ease. His servants had done all the work, and for what?

To lose someone that was too precious to keep on Earth.

_Too many times in our lives  
do we take things for granted  
I dont understand it, no…_

_When its right in front of our eyes  
Thinking they would be here for all times_

Allen was one of the things that humans took for granted. He was always there; made it seem as if he always would be. He had the charisma to make people move forward; to help them find strength in themselves. It was as if he was immortal, but no. Nothing was immortal, because nothing stayed forever.

_Wish I knew how to turn back the hands of time  
'Cause maybe then you'd be here by my side…_

If he could, Kanda would bring Allen back, no matter what the cost. There was too much that he had to say; too many things they hadn't done. Kanda's fists clenched again. He wanted Allen by his side again.

_Wish that I had done just a little more_

_Wish that I could see you one more time _

_But I know that God holds your life  
Your battle is finally won_

But he couldn't have the bean sprout back; he was back in God's clutches. He couldn't do anything for him anymore, couldn't see his love anymore. No matter how much he wanted it, how much anyone wanted it, bringing Allen back to life just wasn't possible. It defied the will of the damn God Allen believed so much in.

_Wish that I had done just a little more  
Wish that I could see you one more time _

_But I know that God holds your life_  
_Your battle is finally won  
_

He didn't care anymore. Kanda threw open the casket and embraced his lover, knowing that there was no chance of the arms wrapping around him again. His body rejected the cold, unmoving body, but his heart wanted it. He wanted Allen to be with him again, impossible or not. There was too much Kanda hadn't said to him; would never be able to say to him now.

_Wish I knew how to turn back the hands of time  
__'Cause maybe then I'd be here by your side…_

If he could do something, _anything_ to bring Allen back, he would—just to be by his lover's side again. He wanted to feel the warmth he felt only with Allen by his side. He wanted to be with Allen, no matter what.

_Wish that I had done just a little more for you  
_

Now that he recalled it, Kanda remembered that Allen had always had a longing face when he saw Lenalee and Lavi embrace tenderly. He should have done that for him.

_Wish that I could see you one more time  
_

He wished he could have given Allen the loving relationship he had always wanted.

_But I know that God holds your life  
_

But it was impossible. He was in God's hands.

_Your battle is finally won  
And God said well done_

Allen's battle against the Earl was finally won; God was pleased, despite the death of the servant responsible for it.

But in the Exorcist's Headquarters, Kanda's heart had died with Allen.

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Well, there ya have it. Anyone need a tissue? xD Nah, just kidding. It wasn't that sad… was it? Well, I wouldn't know. I'm a stupid author 8D

At any rate, I've gotten a lot of requests (-ahem- more like two. Thanks, Abreaction and .Usagi). I do accept requests; I can't guarantee they'll fit my ideas but I'll adapt. Hopefully. But the happy, cheery ones COULD work; I just prefer writing dark, emo/angst songfics xD Let's hope I can carry that into my other story, eh?

Oh, yes. Speaking of my other story, it's been postponed until Chainsaw Mafia gets her computer rights back. She got in trouble on Sunday due to too much internet, and therefore cannot use her computer OR USB/flash drive, whatever you call it. A week is the date. I was trying to ban myself along with her, but temptation (and the fact that my history textbook is a CD and I had to do homework for it) overtook me, and voila. Here I am, typing this out. I overruled my personal goals for you people; appreciate it. (Please?)

Reviews are greatly appreciated. How am I supposed to know if I got the intended reaction—heartbreak—from my readers if you don't tell me?! It would be great to know, ya know… (… Wow, cheesy rhyme…)

By the way, I'm going to put a little change of pace in with the next track. It's going to be AU, and it's one of .Usagi's requests-- Heaven, by DJ Sammy. I'll be using the candlelight remix, so again, if you're one of those people who have been listening to the music while reading the tracks, the CANDLELIGHT remix is the way to go. I'm writing the songfic based on the mood it sets, so remember-- CANDLELIGHT REMIX xD

And again-- THIS HAS NOT BEEN EDITED BY CHAINSAW MAFIA. She got her computer taken away. So, uh, is it too much to ask of you all to edit this songfic?

Sora Pwns x3

_Next Track: Heaven (Candlelight Remix) by DJ Sammy_


	4. Track 4: Heaven by DJ Sammy

Yullen Soundtrack

Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track 4: Heaven by DJ Sammy. Yes, they both agreed. We're in heaven.

Warnings: A futile effort to try to evenly center out the characters (ended up focusing a bit too much on Kanda…); some of the most cliché writing I've done in a long, long time…

[Before writing] … I am rethinking this right now. After running through the lyrics several times to get a good idea, all I can say is that _this is too happy for the Yullen that I write now._ D: To me, Yullen is about the angst. The hate. The fact that neither of them can have what they really want—each other (whoa, can you say CLICHÉ?). –sigh- But since someone requested this, I will do it. Cheesiness be damned.

… With that said, I am terribly sorry if parts of this track are forced. I do not do cheery, happy, rainbows-and-flowers Yullen anymore (I don't think I can really stand it anymore at this point, but hey, a reader requested it. I am bound by obligation to my readers to fulfill their requests, although it is merely only a shade of a code of honor I have developed for myself and therefore nullified, but nevertheless…). Wish me luck.

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_Track 4: Heaven (Candlelight Remix) by DJ Sammy (requested by .Usagi)_

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_Oh, thinking about our younger years  
There was only you and me  
We were young and wild and free  
Now, nothing can take you away from me_

The flame flickered on the candlestick, the only thing except for the table that divided the two. A pair of cobalt blue eyes gazed strongly into twilight-silver orbs. A smirk spread across Kanda's face as he lifted his fist and rested his cheek against it.

"It's been a while, bean sprout."

_We've been down that road before  
But that's over now  
You keep me coming back for more  
_

The smirk was returned by a poker smile. "It's only been about a hundred or so years, BaKanda," he replied rather spitefully. He fingered the tablecloth with his pale hand, reveling in the normality of it that he hadn't been able to enjoy in his past life. "But here we are; back for the same reason, I suppose?"

_Cause baby, you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
_

Kanda's eyes drifted lazily over the bean sprout, then over the surroundings. The fancy restaurant was clearly a romantic implication, not to mention the candle and rose petals scattered over their table. "Che. Why else would two men be in a freakin' romantic restauraunt if it weren't so that they could hook up later?"

_I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
_

Allen's heart fluttered, but he managed to keep his cool. How long had he waited for this? For the chance to embrace this man again?

Another poker grin spread across his face. "To talk, I suppose?"

_And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven  
_

"Che," Kanda smirked. "You know that's not true, stupid bean sprout," he drawled, leaning over the table. "How about we skip the formalities and just go to your house?" He didn't want to hold back anymore; to wait anymore. He'd waited for a damn long time, and Kanda sure as hell wasn't going to wait any longer, now that the bean sprout was just within his reach. He could reach out and grab that hand...

_Oh, once in your life you find someone  
Who will turn your world around  
Pick you up when you're feeling down  
_

"If that's what you want," Allen shrugged indifferently. All he wanted was to be with this man; to be with this mysterious person who could always make him feel better—even if what he said was rather insulting.

_Now, nothing can change what you mean to me  
There's a lot that I could say  
But just hold me now  
Cause our love will light the way  
_

As they strolled out the door without even eating any food, Kanda slipped his arm around Allen's waist. There wasn't anything that could change the bean sprout's worth, or anything that Kanda could say without feeling like a total dimwit that could express his feelings about him. He just showed his lover how he felt.

_Cause baby, you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
_

"Ungh… Ka… Kanda…!"

Allen strained his body forward, and his lover clutched him tighter to his chest. Yes, this was what he had wanted; Kanda had desired taking Allen like this since they had met in their past lives. However, then it had been impossible. They had too much to do.

_I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
_

It felt like heaven to Allen. He was finally taken; he was finally happy with the person he loved most… even if he could be a total asshole sometimes. But he knew he was in heaven. He could just feel it; the favor God had returned.

_And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven_They didn't need anything else but each other, because they only needed their love. They were both fully aware of where they were.

Surely, they were both in heaven. They could never be separated again.

_I've been waiting for so long  
For something to arrive  
For love to come along  
_

After his early death during the war, Kanda had waited so damn long to see the bean sprout; had denied early reincarnations only to wait for the damn bean sprout to come back; for his love to come along.

_Now our dreams are coming true  
Through the good times  
And the bad  
I'll be standing there by you_But now, his dream had come true. The bean sprout was standing by him, and as long as Kanda could help it, he always would be… even if that required stealing his bank pin number and threatening to put him miles in debt if he even thought of going away.

_Baby, you're all that I want  
When you're lying here in my arms  
_

He couldn't help but smirk. Allen wouldn't even do that anyway… Kanda could tell that the bean sprout was perfectly happy where he was.

In his arms.

_I'm finding it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
_

It was almost too good to be true. After all, Kanda had never been religious and had surely damned God to hell several times. But, he figured, God had already given his gift. If he wanted it back, he'd take it by force.

Because where Allen was, heaven was.

_And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven_Allen sighed, content. He gazed lazily at his lover. It was really true; he only needed Kanda in his life. Nothing else. Just Kanda.

Because where Kanda was, heaven was.

_ohh ohh ohh  
ohh ohh ohh  
we're in heaven_

Yes, they both agreed. We're in heaven.

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-grinds through teeth as fists are clenching- Excuse me while I go retch. This was way too cheesy and… blegh. I'm rather disgusted with myself.

Sorry about that innuendo that starts after they leave the restaurant… I had to do something to make myself feel better about putting this stupid, cheesy thing up. _;; I'm doing an angsty one next. Obligation be damned. –sobs- But don't worry, I'll get to your requests… Just, ah, give me a bit of angst time… You know, because angst is awesome… :D

Again, this one hasn't been reviewed by Chainsaw Mafia. Even though we're both on Spring Break and she has her computer rights back, I don't have the patience to run it through her. So any mistakes you point out are greatly appreciated :D

Reviews are extremely appreciated; especially for this stupid, cheesy thing. I'd like to see what you guys thought of this one, huge, clump of a cliché songfic.

Sora Pwns x3

_Next Track: I Hate Everything About You by 3 Days Grace (requested by AllenWalker4ever)_


	5. Track 5: I Hate Everything About You 3DG

Yullen Soundtrack

Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track 5: I Hate Everything About You by 3 Days Grace.

Warnings: An innuendo that is actually very specific and illicit. Excuse me.

So a reader requested this song. I know, I know; after that last, incredibly cheesy one, you're all skeptical. But trust me—this one is really good. Filled with angst, to my relief…

But that's beside the point. It's good, and that's what counts. I should be able to write good songfics with a bad song—says a friend of mine, anyway—but hey. I'm a novice. We're all novices because we're unlicensed :D I just read the lyrics—without listening to the song—and was like, "OMG. PERFECT." So to the person who requested it (AllenWalker4Eva, I believe?)… Kudos to you :D I don't think I could have come up with a better song. And you're wrong—it does fit in with angst… maybe you weren't just looking at it from the right angle.

At any rate, I decided that I was ganging up on Kanda, so now it's about time that I started prodding Allen with the all-powerful songfic tweezers. :D (-sigh- But it was so fun dissecting Kanda and twisting him to my all-powerful author using-ness… if that even made sense.) So this one is set in the normal plot (because that's where the most angst comes from ;D) and focuses on Allen, with a little bit of insight on Kanda.

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_Track 5: I Hate Everything About You by 3 Days Grace_

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_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet  
_

Silver-blue eyes stared dazedly at the ceiling, painted black with the shadows. They flicked along the roof as he winced. Kanda had been even rougher that night than ever. He had came in, had a quick fuck, and left. Allen wished he would do more than just use him as a sex toy, but he didn't want to say it out loud.

_Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
_

He winced as he cleared his throat. He'd screamed a little too loudly, and his voice had been hoarse as Kanda had done _that_ to him. He hoped he hadn't woken anyone up; it would be really unfortunate if he did.

_All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet_

His head swam. He longed for someone's warmth; for someone's love.

But he didn't want Kanda. Sure, they supposedly made love almost every night, but even animals could do that. It was physical. There was no emotion involved.

_Only when I stop to think about it  
_

But if Allen looked deeply enough… He shook his head.

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you_No. He hated Kanda. He hated everything about Kanda; the way he was always so mean, and would always push people away… but usually, he had a reason. He never cared about anyone except for himself… but one would have to look closely to see that he actually did care. Allen hissed into his pillow. No; he was defending the older Exorcist, and that could mean… He shook his head vigorously.

He wasn't falling in love. He couldn't.

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_He couldn't because Kanda only thought of him as a sex toy. There was nothing to enjoy about Allen except physical pleasure—that was Kanda's train of thought. Allen could pretend he didn't care about Kanda, but he knew he did.

_Only when I stop to think about it  
_

His emotions for Kanda were so buried beneath denial that Allen had to seriously calm down and think.

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you_He hated the way Kanda never let anyone share his burdens. He hated how Kanda would never show his emotions. He hated how Kanda wouldn't rely on anyone the way Allen did because Allen…

Allen actually wanted to help Kanda.

_Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know  
_

It was subconscious, sure, but he could feel the urge. There was some sort of force pulling Allen towards Kanda; some unnamed emotion that commanded Allen and told him to let Kanda do what he wanted.

_Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know_He was sure Kanda knew by now, too; or at least, he would know if he took the time to think about him. His feelings were always so obvious, not like Kanda. He was an open book, so Kanda only had to think for a bit to know the truth.

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
_

Allen couldn't live with Kanda. He couldn't live without him, either. He hated Kanda, but he loved him more than physically possible.

_You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me_

And Kanda hated everything about Allen, yet he still made love to the younger Exorcist. Was it just physical attraction, or was it something more?

_I hate  
You hate  
I hate  
You love me_Allen hissed into his pillow, the sound muffled by the feathery cushion. It was unstoppable; these damn feelings. But if Allen was right… No, he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to give himself hope.

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you_

He hated Kanda… and yet, he loved Kanda twice as much as he hated him.

How the hell did this happen?

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Well, there you go. Is it okay? It's the first angsty one that I've done without having much insight on how I'm going to organize it, so… -shrugs- How was it? Tell me in a review. Was there something that I should have elaborated on? Something I elaborated too much on? I'd like to know.

My good friend Abreaction, whose comeback is surely praised by all, requested the next track. Defying all odds, she went against the evil parental units to secure her undeniable rights forevermore! -proud, patriotic moment in which fireworks burst through the sky and unwilling tears fall-

And KISProductions is back, as well, with a bang! They started a new story, Yullen Chronicles of Stupidity. :D Hearty "welcome back"s to the both of them!

Sora Pwns x3

_Next Track: Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie (as requested by Abreaction)_


	6. Track 6: Soul Meets Body by DCFC

Yullen Soundtrack

Summary: Songfics with a Yullen theme. Track 6: Soul Meets Body by DCFC. The two knew that this was where his empty soul met his empty body, and they became one and complete.

Warnings: A bit cliché and repetitive; a shaky new narration style that I'm trying out.

Well, I rather like this song. Thank you, Abreaction :D It's very nice.

So, uh, I miss writing Kanda. I'm going to say that bluntly. After practice, I feel empty. It was rather refreshing to be so outrightly mean (I'm very courteous and nice; like Allen on most days. "Most" refers to every day that I don't spend cooped up in my house all day with no one to talk to and no utensils with which I can write), so I decided to (try to) pick on both Allen and Kanda this time around :D … But I'm probably going to end up writing more on Kanda, instead… -sigh-

I'm trying a new narration style—it's much simpler, and very different from the omniscient, eloquent-and-elaborate style that I normally use. It's semi-repetitive in the beginning, but is supposed to tie in with the last phrase. Tell me what you think… if you notice any difference (read: if I manage to hold out with the new style long enough).

Hope you enjoy, and again—I don't own D. Gray-man, or any of the songs used in this fanfiction.

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_Track 6: Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie_

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_I want to live where soul meets body  
And let the sun wrap its arms around me_

A cool breeze; a resounding emptiness tells Kanda something is missing, even after long lengths of travel. He longs for the warmth of the sun that makes him feel complete.

_  
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing  
And feel, feel what its like to be new  
_

A breath of stale air; a feeling of stuffiness surrounds Allen. He longs for the refreshing, awakening splash of cold water that brings him to reality.

_  
Cause in my head there's a greyhound station  
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations  
So they may have a chance of finding a place  
where they're far more suited than here  
_

The two harbor thoughts that should not exist; thoughts that are banished in hopes of someone more deserving receives them and can wholeheartedly return them, for they are not welcome in their world. They cannot exist without prejudice.

_  
I cannot guess what we'll discover  
Between the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels  
But I know our filthy hand can wash one another's  
And not one speck will remain_But as those thoughts are frantically buried with makeshift shovels, their thoughts bleed from their minds and dirty their hands. If they could be cleaned by the objects of their endeavors, then they would be spotless forevermore.

_I do believe it's true  
That there are roads left in both of our shoes  
If the silence takes you  
Then I hope it takes me too  
_

A cool breeze; a sudden urge to move forward brings Allen to his feet. Aimlessly, he wanders until he encounters a long-haired Exorcist. The younger Exorcist seats himself next to the other and they sit in silence.

_So brown eyes I hold you near  
Cause you're the only song I want to hear  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere  
_

A breath of stale air; a desire for the one next to him makes Kanda reach for his hand. He asks the younger of the two to sing; to sing the song that he knows makes the other uncomfortable. But it's the only song he wants to hear.

_  
Where soul meets body  
Where soul meets body  
Where soul meets body  
_

The soft humming is all that can be heard, and the two knew that this was where his empty soul met his empty body, and they became one and complete.

_  
I do believe it's true  
That there are holes left in both of our shoes  
If the silence takes you  
Then I hope it takes me too  
_

A cool breeze; the feet that Kanda has overused have taken rest. The warm sun has finally reached him, and made him feel complete. His empty soul had met his empty body.

_So brown eyes I hold you near  
Cause you're the only song I want to hear  
_

A breath of stale air; a splash of water has awakened Allen to the song that the other now hums along with.

_A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere_

The two voices sing together in harmony, sending a melody softly soaring across the sky and into the atmosphere. All one wants to do is listen to the other, and, though they know that someday, one of them may leave before the other, they know that they will continue to sing together in harmony forevermore.

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FORGET ALL I SAID ABOUT HATING RAINBOWS-AND-FLOWERS YULLEN. I THINK IT (track 4) WAS A POOR SONG CHOICE. –swoons-

I felt a little awkward, writing this, since my sister was doing her chemistry homework behind me, but HEY. SUPPORT LOVE!

The next track is going to be taken from Chainsaw Mafia. No, she didn't request it; she introduced me to this awesome song—Wake Up by Story of the Year. Listen to it; I think it's rather fitting for this star-crossed (in their current life) duo. SUPPORT LOVE! (For some odd reason, I really feel like saying that. O_o;;)

And stupid, religious Californians; voting Yes on 8. NO ON 8! … Yes, I _know_ that was in November of last year, but still… SUPPORT LOVE! –total spazzy moment-

At any rate, requests are still greatly appreciated :D I think I have some still in stock, but I don't remember any of them and I really want to do this one. I really like this next song, for some odd reason.

Gosh. I'm on an updating high today :D Well, who wouldn't? Abreaction and KISProuctions are back! (I think I've said that at least five times now...)

Sora Pwns x3

_Next Track: Wake Up by Story of the Year_


End file.
